What a wild week, and NYC votes have not even been fully counted yet. Waiting for the votes to be tallied was like having a 10PM flight out of JFK... except it is already 11PM, you have not boarded yet, the departure board still says 10PM, and no one is providing any updates.
This sounds a lot like a Seinfeld bit. That is no coincidence coming from me. Needing some levity during the March lockdown and election season, I decided to re-watch all 9 seasons (172 episodes) of Seinfeld. It took a lot less time than it should have, but 20+ years after the last new episode was released, the humor still holds. The subway is still an adventure (S3E13) and Ovaltine is still not an oval (S8E6). What’s the deal with Seinfeld? In this week’s 2xParked, we take a little break from political campaigns and investigate our beloved New York City sitcom.
Best Babka in NYC
In 1994, the crew attended a dinner party (S5 E13). Kramer and George looked for drinks, while Jerry and Elaine attempted to get a babka. Today, babkas are a favorite of New York City bakeries. No longer are there just chocolate and cinnamon babkas (aka the “lesser babka”); we have tasty variations like Nutella and babka doughnuts.
Where are the best babkas in New York today? I scoured the internet for “best of” lists to perform a meta-analysis on which babka reigns supreme. I aggregated 11 lists which met my criteria: being published in the last 5 years, including multiple babka places (as opposed to “this is the best and only”), and still open in our great city. This is quite the delicious ranking:
If I had a Nickel for Every Dime
$0.05 deposit refund in NY, $0.10 deposit refund in MI. Even as a kid, this seemed like a great arbitrage opportunity. Why didn’t people take advantage of this clear loophole?
In 1996, Kramer and Newman (S7 E21/22) decided to follow through on this get-rich opportunity. What my youthful self did not think about was the cost of transporting all of these cans to Michigan. I can’t simply take one can, teleport to Michigan, and return with my shiny dime. I had to transport enough cans to make up for the cost of transporting.
Kramer and Newman ran into the same problem of making the numbers work. They managed to reduce much of the cost by using Newman’s mail truck (instead of renting a truck), but not all of us have that luxury. I investigated how many cans I would need to make it worth my time coming from New York City.
Here are my assumptions for this analysis:
It would not be a solo mission. Two people would take the journey. This means doubling the meals required.
The journey would start in the Upper West Side and go to the Michigan border near Toledo, OH.
Costs include the price of the truck, gas, bags to store cans, and food.
I did not include opportunity loss of better use of time.
Newman and Kramer were absolutely correct. This is not a realistic venture if you did not have free access to a truck, requiring at least 54 thousand cans or bottles. This analysis does not include the cost of time of having to find those cans and the space to store them.
If you are Newman and Kramer, and you have a truck, this venture is a bit more plausible. You would be spending 90% less without a truck, so only 6 thousand cans or bottles would be needed. Additionally, this would only be for a $0.10 gain. To get at least a minimum wage out of this venture, you only need about 2k additional cans, requiring 2 months in total of canning in New York City.
Optimal Route: The “Take This” Debate
From 1994 to 1997, George “worked” for the New York Yankees as the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary. What always amazed me was how George never worked. He always seemed to be at Jerry’s mid-day or out getting calzones.
Imagine though that this is a post-Covid world, and George is hanging at Jerry’s, about to get lunch in the Upper West Side, when he receives a text: Steinbrenner needs him back in the Bronx office in an hour. How does he go from the UWS to Yankee Stadium? Jerry says subway. Elaine says taxi. Kramer says Citi Bike.
There are quite a few things George should take into consideration when figuring out the cost of transit. This includes the cost of the transportation method (e.g. Uber, Subway fare, Citi Bike), the cost of being able to mooch a meal from Jerry or having to pick something up on the way, and the potential long-term cost savings by doing exercise such as walking or biking.
George is always scheming, so all this information is important to him. Who wouldn’t want to see a Seinfeld Citi Bike episode?
MayorModel
So far, none of the mayoral candidates have hired Lloyd Braun yet, which might be a good thing especially after the non-fat yogurt debacle that cost Mayor Dinkins re-election (S5 E7).
We are still in the process of figuring out who is and who is not running for Mayor. I imagine as NYC is still counting the ballots in close races, this will take a little time to figure out. Remember long ago in November 2019, Mayor Mike Bloomberg had not even entered the presidential race yet, so there is still time for someone expected (e.g. Eric Adams) or a high profile unexpected NYC resident to enter the race.
That being said, Scott Stringer and Maya Wiley still maintain the early lead out of the gates, though Ray McGuire, Citibank Exec, is starting to make some traction after announcing his candidacy only recently.
"Michigan Piggy Bank" was drawn by Ink&thyme, drawing life's unforgettable moments. For unique art drawn just for you, check them out on Facebook and on Instagram.
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